How Lies And False Stories Take Root

False stories and lies often begin with one-sided beliefs implanted in us. We hear these stories from a single source or perhaps a small group entwined in the belief. These kinds of perspectives are often accepted as fact unconsciously. We then reinforce that belief by seeking supporting evidence rather than questioning it. Over time, this becomes a self-reinforcing cycle, making it hard to break free.

What’s worrying, we see this pattern everywhere: in the media, politics, family dynamics, workplace relationships and friendships.

Let’s look at the signs that point towards holding unconcious beliefs. Particularly those that may be shaped by a lie, distorted or incomplete story.

Signs you’ve been fed a lie and false story

1. Strong Emotional Reactions

Does a story trigger anger, resentment, or fear? Emotional manipulation is often used to make people accept a narrative without questioning it.

Ask yourself: Am I responding to facts or to emotions?

2. Confirmation Bias in Action

Do you seek evidence to prove the story right instead of questioning the story? When we feel emotionally invested in a belief, we naturally seek supporting information, rather than challenging it. Pay attention to the actions you’re drawn to.

Ask yourself: Am I investigating the full story or simply reinforcing (acting on) what I’ve been told?

3. Silence and Avoidance

Are you being discouraged from asking questions or seeking other perspectives? It’s common for barriers to be created around talking to certain people. These barriers are often emotionally based. Such as a fear of a manager, or a dislike to the ‘victim’.

Ask yourself: How could a curious and open conversation clarify this perspective?

4. Direct vs. Indirect Information

Did you hear the story from the horse’s mouth, or is it second-hand information? The more a story is passed along, the more it changes. Often becoming exaggerated, distorted, or manipulated.

Ask yourself: Who is the storyteller in relation to the narrative?

Why do we cling to lies and False Stories?

Lies And False Stories take root when they resonate deeply with our emotions or past experiences. We have an inbuilt protection mechanism that seeks certainty in an often unpredictable world, and false stories can trigger validation of misinterpreted feelings of fear.

Our brains aim to be energy efficient, so when a story resonates, a cognitive shortcut is created to help us navigate the world safely. These cognitive shortcuts create confirmation biases reinforcing the beliefs. When a story elicits strong emotions, (anger, fear, a sense of righteousness), fight, flight, or freeze responses take over. This activates the amygdala and ‘overrides’ the prefrontal cortex. This hinders our critical thinking and our ability to feel our intuition.

We also tend to trust those closest to us, family, friends, and respected peers. When they share a perspective, it can feel risky to question it because we may be disrupting the group identity. Again, we instinctively protect the group identity because, on a deep primal level, we believe our survival depends on it.

How To Break Free From False Beliefs

Humility: One of the barriers to breaking free is an unwillingness to admit we might be wrong. Humility requires modesty, and this means being open to information, especially when it challenges our current belief systems.

Please don’t see a shift in perspective as a loss, it is growth and refinement of your understanding. This mindset allows you to embrace breaking free, rather than clinging to outdated, misleading or self-limiting narratives.

Diversity: To break free from confirmation bias, be intentional and seek perspectives that differ from what’s been given. Engage in open and meaningful conversations with people who hold opposing viewpoints, read from many opposing sources, and challenge yourself to consider alternative explanations.

Expose yourself to diverse perspectives. This will make you resilient to manipulations and one-sided or emotionally driven narratives. Try to see the world with as wide a lens as you can.

The Steps To Take Today

Pause and question your initial reaction and feelings.

Look for patterns, not just single events. Is this an isolated situation, or does it happen repeatedly?

Seek out alternative perspectives with an open mind.

Ask clarifying questions such as: What part of this story isn’t being told?

Listen to your body. Trust your gut when a story feels manipulative, exaggerated, or pushed.

Be willing to challenge your own beliefs. Make this a habit.